1) SOS
There was an airplane that was having trouble. So the pilot radioed the tower at the airport and said, ” Pilot to tower, pilot to tower. Mayday! Mayday! I’m 300 miles from land, 600 feet over water. I’m running out of fuel. Also, my engine is on fire; my instruments are destroyed, and my co-pilot is having a heart attack. Please instruct me what to do!” So the tower said to the pilot, “Tower to pilot, tower to pilot, repeat after me: Our Father Who Art in Heaven…”

2) Tomorrow’s Outlook: Sunny Skies
A man said to a woman, “Darling, without you, everything is dark and dreary. The clouds gather, and the wind whips the rain. Then comes the warm sun. You are like a rainbow to me.” And the woman asked, “Is this a proposal, or a weather report?”

3) A Good Alibi
An opera singer who was married asked her husband, “Why do you always go out to the balcony whenever I sing? Don’t you like my singing?”
So the husband said, “No, no, I go out just so that all the neighbours can see that I’m not beating you.”

4) A Novel Way to Park
There was a young man, a first-time driver, who tried to park a car between two others. He put the car into reverse and, “bang!”, ran into the car behind him. He then put the car back into forward gear and, “bang!”, hit his front end into the car in front of him.
And so back and forth he went, banging both cars each time he went into reverse or forward. So the woman beside him couldn’t resist asking him, “Do you always have to use your ears to park?”

5) Even a Dog Can Understand It
There was a Russian teacher who walked into a Russian class for the first time to see his students. He brought his dog in, and told the dog to sit, stay, come, go, roll over, drop dead and so on. The dog did exactly as the teacher commanded, and so the teacher said, “See class, Russian is so easy that even a dog can understand it.”

6) The Truant Son
A mother was trying very hard to convince her son to go to school, but the boy said, “No, no. I don’t want to go to school! No one in the school likes me. All the teachers dislike me, all the students annoy me, the bus driver hates me and the district chief wants to transfer me to another school. Even the guard at the door doesn’t like me. I’m fed up and I don’t want to go to school today.”
So the mother said to him, “Oh yes! You must go to school! You are strong and you must show that you are a good leader who can handle responsibilities. Besides, you’re forty-two years old and you’re the principal of the school.”

7) Turnabout is Fair Play
A teacher who sped on the highway was brought before a judge. The teacher told the judge that she was a teacher and shouldbe in the classroom right now, and so she needed to leave. Then the judge said, “Ah, beautiful! At last, I have a teacher in front of me. Please sit in that corner and write five thousand times: “I will never exceed the speed limit again.”

8 ) A Family Matter
A girl went to the hospital to visit a famous movie start who had had a minor accident while making a film. As soon as she knocked on the door, an old woman opened it. The woman said, “We’ve already left a sign outside. Only family members can come in to visit. Didn’t you see it?”
The girl answered, “Of course I saw it. I’m his younger sister.”
So the old woman said, “Oh, really! Honoured to meet you. I’m his mother.”

9) Monkey Business
A policeman took a monkey to his boss, and the boss asked, “What kind of monkey business are you up to?”
The policeman said, “This monkey was wandering in the streets, not following any of the rules. I’m turning him in.”
The boss said, “You are so stupid! If you catch a monkey, you have to take it to the zoo. Why did you bring it to me? Take it to the zoo!”
So the policeman took the monkey out. Three days later, he was seen again holding the monkey’s hand. He took the monkey to the police car, opened the door, put it in, and was about to drive away. The boss saw this, ran out and said, “How come the monkey is still here? I told you to take it to the zoo!” The policeman replied, “Yes sir. I’ve already taken him to the zoo. Today, I’m taking him to see a movie.”

10) The Secret of Long Life
There was an old man of about 85 years old, who was in very robust health. Newspaper and television journalists came on his birthday to interview him about the secret of his long life. So he said, “Oh, its no problem; I just walk five miles every day.” One of the journalists was very skeptical, he said, “My father also walked five miles every day. But he died at fifty.” So the old man said, “Now then, he didn’t do it long enough, that’s why.”

(extracted from Your Halo is Too Tight!”

Event: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Movie Premiere!

Date, Day: 16 July 2009, Thursday

Time, Place to meet: 12pm, Douby Ghout MRT Control Station (East West Line)

Things to bring: $8, Student Card

Notes: Meet at 12pm to purchase tickets with our student cards, then go for lunch till movie starts(:

Movie Info: Cathay, 154 minutes, movie starts at 1.35pm

Ahhhhh… the charming, handsome and irresistable Daniel Radcliff… *heart melts*

NEW! **Our K-box session is now at Suntec City**

cos according to reliable sources, Marina Square’s K-Box is a popular ghost resort and and we have to book the place 100 years in advance.

Date: 18 April 2009, this Saturday

Time and Place to meet: 1.15pm, City Hall MRT Control Station

Things to bring: Student Card, $17.50

Note: Have your lunch before you come!

Time: 2-7pm

Venue: K Box- Suntec City

People going (confirmed so far): Charlotte, Pin Ru, Sheldon, Ying Ling and Yudhi

People going (but will be late): Alice (ard 3pm), Ee Jia (ard 3pm), Ling Xian (ard 3pm), Sarah (ard 4pm) and Wei Ni (7pm)

People who will be popping in to say hello: Yee Ting (2-4pm)

People going (not so confirmed): Jane (Jap lesson until 3pm), Michelle (Jap lesson until 3pm) and Shirley (pending reply)

People not going (confirmed): Arifin, Chor Theng, Huei Minn, Hui Jie, Khairul, Marinah, Nelson, Perrine, Seok Wei, Sutha, Vanessa and Yu Han

If there are any changes, please inform Alice, Ee Jia, Pin Ru or Ying Ling Thank you!

Annnddd…

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY, SARAH AND RACHEL!

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God and I didn’t!
2. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6. Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
7. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10. I’m not a complete idiot — Some parts are missing.
11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17. Being “over the hill” is much better than being under it!
18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
19. Procrastinate Now!
20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
23. STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!
24. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
26. A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
27. HAM AND EGGS – A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
28. The trouble with life is there’s no background music.

Remember to visit my Olive Oil Fan Club blog! 8)

Okay, now go back to doing whatever you guys were doing before you started reading this

Date: 18 April 2009, Saturday

Time: 2-7pm

Venue: TBC. Ying Ling will inform us later

Time and Place to meet: 1.30pm, TBC

People going (confirmed so far): Alice, Arifin, Charlotte, Ee Jia, Ling Xian, Pin Ru, Shirley,Ying Ling and Yudhi

People going (but will be late): Jane, Michelle and Sarah (ard 4pm)

People going (not so confirmed): Chor Theng, Marinah, Seok Wei, Sheldon, Vanessa and Yu Han

People not going (confirmed so far): Huei Minn, Hui Jie, Khairul, Nelson, Perrine, Sutha and Yee Ting

The rest (pending reply): Mr Lim and Wei Ni

~PR

I haven’t got the pics taken during the TY dinner yet, they’re probably somewhere in facebook and I haven’t gone in there since last year.

Uni application will be closing in 6 days’ time, if you haven’t applied yet, I strongly recommend that you don’t apply on 1st April 2009, 2359h cos I’ll be applying during that time and you might slow down the traffic.

For the next class outing, Ee Jia suggested that we go K-boxing. And cos I’ll need 5 years to practise, 10 years to break my voice to make it sound more macho, and 15 to get myself mentally prepared for my audience’s standing ovation, our next class outing will be on March 25, 2029.

Okay, I think that’s enough updates for today.(:

~PinRu

Anyway, the food there was really good, the music and the toilet. They even put Mr Bean on their TV, my fav fav show in the world! Yeah cos everything Mr Bean does my mum forbids me to do haha The ambiance must have been very romantic too cos we were talking about Uni courses, Jap lessons, driving etc etc and then Mr Ong came and started match-making us AGAIN and then showed us how to flirt. Which totally explains why he hasn’t got a wife haha

And Michelle made the cutest sock dolls in the world for Mr Ong and Mrs Ng! They also got the most beautiful, creative, inspiring, lovely, exquisite etc etc Thank You card designed by *hem hem* me, and Mr Ong said that he gonna burn them all someday.

I think this outing is better than the other one, at least 1 plate of veggies didn’t cost 20 bucks, and we managed to get Mr Ong’s fav student, Yee Ting to come and EJ, YL and I specially assigned her a seat right in front of Mr Ong haha Yeah, Ee Jia and Seok Seok did a really good job organizing this dinner

Okay, that’s all for now, I’ll upload the pics as soon as Perrine deposits them on facebook

~PinRu

Here, I even got you guys your very own, personalised ‘I AM A SURVIVOR!’ card!

just imagine that the guy in the middle is you:D

The world is now ours to take, we must reach for the skies! Throw off the bowlines! And spread our wings and fly like

To all of our wonderful teachers, Mr Lim, Mrs Ng, Mr Ong, Mr Teo, Mr Haniss and Ms Agnes,

0717 LOVES YOU! (:

Anyway, here are a few important events coming up:

Important Event 1
Event: NTU Open House
Date, day: 14 Mar 2009, Sat
Time: 09:30 AM – 06:30 PM
Venue: School of Biological Sciences

Important Event 2
Event: NUS Open House
Date, day: 14-15 Mar 2009, Sat-Sun
Time: 09:00 AM – 06:00 PM
Venue: Sports & Recreation Centre @ Kent Ridge Centre
Note: Free shuttle service @ Dover MRT

Important Event 3
Event: Thank you dinner with Mrs Ng and Mr Ong
What: Dinner Party
Host: Ee jia and Seok Wei
Start Time: Tuesday, March 17 at 6:20pm
End Time: Tuesday, March 17 at 9:20pm
Where: in the midst of negotiation with the teachers

And most importantly, remember to apply for your uni courses before 1st April 2009, 2359h.

That’s all for now, and before I end off,

~TurnipRawks!(: